I have never been more terrified of death.
And I am terrified of what is to come.
The most frightening thought is that we are going to die.
We are not going to be able to get the help we need, so we will end up living as the world’s homeless.
I have a daughter who has been on life support for three months and I have no idea what is going to happen to her.
This fear has led me to the extreme conclusion that I should not be a doctor.
I am not a medical professional.
I don’t have a degree in medicine.
I do not have the training in medical science to do the kind of work that is necessary to help people survive their illnesses.
I just don’t want to work with people who have been diagnosed with mental health issues.
I have been told that I have to be careful about where I work, that I cannot be on the streets, that the public is going out of control and I am too risky.
This is all very scary.
And the worst part is, I know that people who are dying are not the only people who will die.
So, if I am in a situation like this, I want to be ready.
And it scares me.
I’ve been scared before.
And that is a very dangerous thing to say.
But this is a reality.
And I am still trying to understand why people are dying, why people with mental illnesses are dying.
I think it is because of this lack of access to healthcare.
I think there is a lot of ignorance.
The stigma of mental illness is very real.
I know people have told me they are ashamed of who they are and how they are feeling.
I get that.
I understand that.
But I also know that stigma is part of the problem, part of what makes people die.
So what can I do?
What I want is for doctors and other medical professionals to stop using the word “mental illness” and instead use “mental health” when they talk about patients.
They can also stop using it as a catch-all term.
They should stop using “life is good” or “life feels good”.
And people who feel depressed or have suicidal thoughts should not have to hide it.
And they should not think that this is their fault.
This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has ever been in a hospital.
This isn’t something that is going on to your head.
This is not an issue that is being swept under the rug.
It is something that needs to be dealt with and it should not take place in the shadows.
It is very, very hard for me to imagine what I am going to do when I’m older, when I am a parent, when my children grow up and the mental health of people who don’t know me begins to deteriorate.
I know that they are scared, that they will never be able the help they need, that their children will grow up without their parents.
And, I have an enormous responsibility to them and to myself to try to do something to help.
And then I think about what my own children are going through.
How much of their lives will be lost?
What is going through their minds?
How much do I want them to know about my illness?
How do I feel?
Because they are going in the wrong direction.
The thing that has been hardest is knowing that the doctors, the mental-health workers, are being trained and prepared to treat people, but not knowing what they are doing.
And so when the word is used in the public, they think it’s something that can be used by people.
It makes me really sad because I have had so much compassion for people.
But what I find frustrating is that it is used to make me feel better about myself.
And if you feel like you have something to prove, then you will be more effective.
So I am asking for help.
I am asking you to call me, call my office, or send me an email.
And please do not let my fears get in the way of doing your best to help me and my family.
And to do everything in your power to keep us safe.
And keep us from dying.
And please, if you can, be there for me.
And we will be OK.
